Wednesday, September 22, 2010


It is that time of year again.  Time to start extracurricular activities up again.  Charlotte and Matthew were easy.  Charlotte likes to be busy and she loves her dance classes.  Matthew is also enjoying his time at playgroup and dance class.

This leaves my Emmett.  Last year we tried piano lessons.  He cried at the thought of practicing and I really think he needed a more social activity.  Spring soccer was a bit more successful.  I considered the winter soccer league here, but the schedule doesn't work with all of the other things we have going on.  (I have to co-ordinate all of our  schedules with one vehicle....tricky at best)

This leaves Beavers.  Part of me thinks that the loud setting could be overwhelming to Emmett.  Another part of me thinks he could use the stimulation.  Over dinner last night Richard mentioned that he did Beavers at Emmett's age and hated it.  Emmett is not like other boys.  Richard pointed out that Emmett is going to have social challenges until the other boys catch up to him and branch off into more defined social groups (Emmett is very firmly in the group genus Nerdus already--he carries Magic cards around with him wherever he can.)  Will Beavers help him or make him feel like more of an outsider?  I also have to take into consideration how tiring school can be for him now.  It sometimes requires a lot of extra effort on his part to get through a day of study and therapy. 

So, who am I helping?  Am I signing him up for Beavers because that is what Good Moms do or because I think it will really be good for him?  Am I signing him up because everyone else in the house has activities and I don't want him to be left out?  I know I am over thinking this, but I am really on the fence about this.  Part of me thinks we should wait a year since Emmett himself is quite ambivalent about the whole thing. Another part of me sees a future with a reclusive basement-dwelling gamer son who has no job and no friends and no outside life and maybe Beavers is the one thing that can change that outcome.

Yep.  There is some serious over thinking happening over here.


Anonymous said...

If it was me I'd wait a year. It sounds like he wouldn't be upset by not having an "activity" when the other kids all do.

My BIL was one of those kids. His teens, yes, were spent playing a lot of video games in the basement. But today he is 35 and has a lovely wife and two beautiful children and a great job and a really nice house. So these things do come and go.

When does spring soccer start up?


~ Elly ~ said...

I believe I am human...therefore I comment.

Have you asked him directly? I was fretting this summer about Libby and Joey and summer camp and whether to send them together on the same weeks or separate or some overlap. I couldn't come up with a result that felt good so I just asked (separately) and they both said they wanted to be together. So that's what I did and it worked out really well. I know Em isn't like other kids, but asking could at least give you some insight into what he's thinking. Maybe he does just want to chill for the fall and get involved in the spring. Or maybe there is an activity that he'd like to try.

Pavonine said...

Would Richard think about being a leader? It might make it a bit easier on Emmett if he's got someone there who understands him if it gets overwhelming.

From my experience as a Cub leader, the gym stuff can get a bit overwhelming for kids, but once they are doing outdoor activities they do really well. Cubs is a bit calmer than Beavers though, whenever I visited the Beaver meetings it felt a bit like chaos.

Bobbi said...

I absolutely opt for the road of "if the child wants too" with most things except for a select few in our case piano is not optional. If he's ambivalent towards a group what about tossing that to the side and looking for single day events instead? Thus you can have something on the calendar but at a more relaxed pace and with a variety added too it? Things like a special event at the library, a nature activity with local parks dept., attend a play, and so forth? Perhaps something will strike his fancy and lead to a more routine extracurricular.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't you sample it for an evening or two and see what he thinks, what you think, etc?

You don't have to sign up always before trying it.

PS - Consider judo. Cost effective, good mentoring, physical, and social.

Ami said...

I am firmly in the 'what does the kid really want' camp.

No hurry, either. A year or even two isn't too long if that's what's going to work.