Thursday, February 26, 2009

Stoopid camera.....

If my camera hadn't suddenly and mysteriously died on me yesterday you would be looking at the cutest pictures right now.

Charlotte had her very first dance recital yesterday. She wore the most adorable puppy costume. She let me tie her hair back into a proper ballerina bun. She wore sparkely eyeshadow and blush and pink lipgloss. She took to the stage like a pro and wagged her tail and howled and scratched her ears. She was sort of in time with the music.

I was so proud of her.

It was the best birthday gift.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


It has been happening. Bit by bit. Little by little. My faith. It has been slipping away from me. I have had so many questions. I have very few answers. I have spent a lot of time reflecting, thinking, even praying. When I prayed I felt like an imposter. It didn't feel real, sincere. Today I don't feel it at all. It is gone. I feel something else too. Something else growing inside of me. Is it contentment? Serenity? I think I can be ok with not having faith. It feels better to me than trying to force myself into a box that I know I don't fit into. I still feel Spiritual. I still feel.....Something. I can't say what It is, but it is Something. Energy? Light? Love? It is all of those things and none of those things.

Today is Shrove Tuesday. In some countries this is the day to use up your fat and flour before you fast for Lent. It seems like a decent time to reflect on where I stand with God and The Universe, don't you think?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Writer's block.

I haven't felt like writing much lately. I can't say life is any more or less hectic than normal. I can say that since Matthew has really learned to walk my ability to sit at the computer and really think about what I want to say and form it into coherent sentences has diminished. Constantly having to get up and rescue him from perilous situations can stop trains of thought dead in their tracks. (Ha! That was a pun!)

I have had things rattling around in my brain, don't get me wrong.

Valentine's Day, for example. So much pressure if you are in a relationship, so much disappointment if you aren't. I grudgingly bought cards for the kids classmates and baked cookies for parties, but resented the fact that I had to spend money on junk that would just end up in various garbage cans all over our town. I went to the grocery store to pick up some food items and watched as people picked over the tired looking flower display like vultures. How special are those flowers if you know that most people in your community are being surprised by the same thing? How special is that night out when you are bumping elbows with every other romantic couple in the city? We went out for dinner last Thursday night. The restaurant was dead. It was lovely. The waitress knew she would be slammed with customers on Saturday.
I did make molten chocolate cakes because, well, I love molten chocolate cake. I will take any excuse to make it!

What else has been on my mind? The Courage Campaign. They are a grassroots organization lobbying hard to have Proposition 8 invalidated. Prop 8 made gay marriage illegal in California. New legislation is coming out that will invalidate all marriages that happened before it came into effect, divorcing couples and breaking up families against their wishes. Fellow blogger Ami made a wonderfully eloquent blog post about it. I couldn't have said it better. Please take a minute to read it. I will wait.

It is only love! But it is so much more than that. These people just want to live normal lives. They want to file Income Taxes, they want to sign medical consent forms and school permission slips. They want to love each other and raise their children. I can't wrap my mind around how that is wrong.

Oh, and how can I go from Valentine's Day to gay marriage in one blog post? The deadline to invalidate Prop 8 was Feb 14th. The deadline has now been extended. Can you imagine having to wait with baited breath to see if your marriage was going to still be valid and legal? My heart goes out to these families. If you feel the same way, go here and sign the petition.

Wow. I am ranty today!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Snow Day!

Create your own puzzles at!

There is a dusting of wet snow on top of the sheets of ice that pass for roads in our town today. Emmett has a bad cough. A day to stay in. This puzzle is for my mom (and whoever else wants to do it!)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Raising my kids properly.

If you can identify what Matthew is holding then you are as big a dork as I am so you can't tease me about it.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

See my vest!

I firmly believe that everything in life has been covered in an episode of The Simpsons. I also have a wierd way of associating songs with different events in my life. These two things converged on February first.

My friend Poppins decided to start a Knitalong at Ravelry to celebrate vests. She calls it Vest-uary. I decided to participate since I am a big preppie at heart and I love a good sweatervest. I will be knitting a lovely honeycomb cabled vest in a deep charcoal grey.

Mister Burns starts running through my head every time I pick up my needles.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Where's Matthew?

Things got a little rowdy in our house last night. Richard bore the brunt of the shenanigans.

Can you find Matthew in this picture???

Edited to add:
Matthew was not harmed. He was actually grinning like crazy under the pile of siblings. My mom was quite worried and wanted me to note that.

Why didn't anyone else ask? Hmmmmm?