Sunday, September 9, 2007

Training wheels are off.

I am getting stronger and stronger every day. Matthew's birth was harder on me than I thought it would be. Carrying such a big baby and then pushing him out in such short order did a number on my abdominal muscles. I couldn't walk up and down the stairs without supporting them with my hands for the first few days. I spent three days battling horrifying breast engorgement--I got so big and hard I looked like I had bad implant surgery. I ran a fever for a day. I was in constant pain. Things are getting better now and nursing doesn't actually bring tears to my eyes anymore. The only thing keeping me going through that was the thought that if I stopped nursing I would get engorged again and be back at square one.

Tomorrow will be my first day home alone with the kids since I had Matthew. I am a little scared. Emmett and Charlotte have been acting particularly wild lately. I am not sure I will have the stamina to keep up with them and Matthew's marathon nursing sessions too. I guess the best I can do is secure the childproof latches on all the doors that have them and turn on some brain rotting TV while I feed the baby. I have to go to the store since we have no milk, but I think I will only buy that and leave the rest of my shopping list for Tuesday--I will have an opportunity to shop with only two children while Emmett is in school, or only one child when the respite worker comes in the afternoon. I may take respite time and sleep.

The kids are starting to act out--I have not seen them beat on each other the way they have since Matthew has been born. I suppose I should be happy they are taking their feelings out on each other and not the baby! I try to spend time with them individually but it is really hard to when all Matthew wants to do is feed.

I guess I just have to be patient. New routines take time and it has only been a week, right?


Ashlee Rose said...

Hugs, lady, I hope you can sneak a nap sometime...

Ami said...

It's a big adjustment. And for the first time, you and hub are outnumbered. You're going to need fortifications and plans. You must NOT be overrun!!!

Nothing you've said sounds abnormal, does that help? :)

I wish I lived near you. I'd be over to hang out and do dishes, run to the grocery store, and make crafty stuff or sing silly songs with the bigger kids.

I always hated 'hang in there' as an expression. Always wondered why people didn't just say "things will get better". But you know they will.


~ Elly ~ said...

Yet again I wish we lived closer together. Emm and Char and Lobster and Marvey could all hang out together and you could get some time with Matthew... I know it will get better, but here's to hoping it gets better RIGHT NOW!!