Wednesday, September 12, 2007

"Momma's sad."

That's what Charlotte was saying as I was crying on my bed last night. Yesterday was hard. So. Very. Hard.

Matthew didn't go much longer than 20-30 minutes between nursing sessions yesterday. It makes it hard to do things like pick up your 4 year old from preschool and make lunch when your newborn has to nurse constantly. It makes it hard to pay attention to your increasingly jealous 2 year old when the baby is always on your lap. Char kept saying "Pick [me] up" and [Put that ]"Baby [in his] bed" all day. My heart was breaking. My stamina was gone. My nipples are still very sore. The house is coated in dog hair and the laundry needs folding. We did manage to get to the playground for a little while before supper, which helped the kids, but only made me more exhausted. When Richard got home and asked how my day went I cracked. I couldn't stop crying. The kids started running around, the dog started barking, and I couldn't take it anymore. I took the baby and went to bed. I stayed in bed until the kids were asleep, then I got up to nurse Matthew and watch a bit of TV, then went to bed again.

I feel so overwhelmed right now. I don't know how to do this.

6 comments:

Ashlee Rose said...

I just tried to call ya, if you want to talk you can call... I should be here all day unless I am on the way to the hospital...

Hugs, and love. :(

Heather said...

Sounds like you should try nursing in a sling. When my youngest was born, it was the only way I could manage all the stuff I had to do and take care of the baby too. It's tricky to get used to, but when you get sling-wearing down, its SO nice to be able to walk around and use BOTH hands while nursing.

Take care of yourself. Sleep when you can. Drink water and take a multivitamin. And give yourself permission to have an adjustment period. You don't have to be SuperMom all the time.

ami said...

{{{hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

You don't know how to do this. No one does. It's hard. That's why the first 6 weeks are the babymoon. You need to focus on you and the baby if at all possible. Can someone else take Emmet to preschool? Can you buy more DVDs for the kids to watch? Can you eat off paper plates for a week?

This is a very HUGE time - of transitions emotionally, of responsibilities physically, etc., for all of you.

Make it through these six weeks. Think short term. Think easy on yourself.

Hire a housecleaner to vacuum.

****For 6 weeks, you don't do the shopping or the cleaning.
For 6 weeks, you're building milk supply and building Emmet and Charlotte.***

Poppins

April said...

We are here. Don't be afraid to ask us for help anytime.

Heather K. said...

Wow. I feel like this sometimes now and have a baby due in April. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help. I am taking notes and trying to prepare for days yet to come.