Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Vacation Bible School
The flier arrived in my mailbox last week. Vacation Bible school! Mommy Program! Free Babysitting! Just come to XYZ Church! The theme is Rescue Zone: Saved by God's Power. As a Sunday School Superintendant myself I know these things come in boxes. I looked up this curriculum and found a fun fire truck and police man theme--right up Emmett's alley. I threw caution to the wind and signed us all up. I am a whore for free babysitting and I thought that if I stayed for the mommy program I would be close by if Emmett didn't take well to being thrown into a room full of strangers.
Every day this week I pack us up and drive to the Fundamentalist Baptist Church across town and Emmett waves goodbye and trots off with his class and I drop Charlotte off in the nursery and trot off to my own class.
It turns out he is not the one I needed to worry about. As fortune would have it the teacher for his level knows basic sign language and Emmett is having a ball with the kids. He has found a cute little girl to follow around and she doesn't seem to mind too much. Char does not like being left in the nursery, but she is adjusting.
Who is the one having the trouble? Me. A (secular)homeschooling friend of mine warned me a bit about what to expect from this particular church--it turns out many of the families that go there are homeschoolers too and are deeply conservative and Fundamentalist.
I am starting to get uncomfortable in my classes. I have already been subtly told several times that my church is the *wrong* church. The life I am leading is going to send me straight to Hell and that even my favourite translation of the Bible is not the right one. In this place it is King James or nothing. Our church uses New International and I like it much, much better. Yesterday I was asked if I have been *Saved*. I am not even sure what that means. I don't like how they preach that every day I must strive to pull my family out of Satan's clutches and away from the firy doors of Hell. They told me that even though my children are gifts from God (they are) they are so full of sin they may as well be minions of Satan (ok, so that one I believe on some days...) and that I must *Save* them too. I am not used to this. We don't *Save* people in my church. I have never once heard my priest say that if you do one thing and not another you will go straight to Hell and drag your loved ones with you.
I am torn since in amongst the talk of eternal damnation I am enjoying the lessons on how to stream line and organize my house (the Mommy Bible School theme is Heart and Home Rescue). I am enjoying the Bible study. The pointed questions about my personal beliefs are making me uncomfortable. The subtle jabs against my own Church family makes me squirmy. I am so new to my own faith that is still growing and evolving. I feel like I am stumbling on my path to God now. I don't feel equipped to deal with the pointed questions. I can't battle verse for verse with these people when they start quoting the Old Testament to back up their arguments. My brain has melted from the heat and pregnancy. Part of me wants to run screaming, but part of me is still curious enough to want to see it through for the three days that are left.
April? Cheryl? We need to talk!!