I picked up a shift this weekend. I have not been to work in a year. In that year, my ward changed floors, underwent a major change in staff and restructured in layout and routine. I may as well be starting a new job. I am as nervous as I was on the first day of school. I don't even know where the supplies are (or the break room--the most important thing!) Thanks to this, my sleep has been crappy this week--I even had two kids who slept 12 hours (12 hours!) straight last night and I was up at 4:30, eyes wide open, listening to everyone sleeping but me.
We are saying goodbye to my beloved Cadillac. She passed her safety inspection today, so there will be a For Sale sign in the window soon. I am now driving this:
We call it The Dustbuster. Once I forget how luxurious and fun the Caddy was to drive, I am sure it will be great. I already like the fact that twenty bucks bought me half a tank of fuel (that would barely cover the bottom of the Caddy's tank). Surprisingly, it is shorter and narrower than the Caddy so it is a dream to park and fits well in our tiny garage. I have learn to be neater since there is not as much room in the back for cargo, so there is no throwing stuff back there to forget about. For the record, that is not my house and there is certainly no green grass outside my window right now--that pic is from the classified ad to sell it.
I feel a shift in my brain happening. I used to be so very insecure and worried about saying things to make waves. I never wanted anyone mad at me, so I was not good at speaking my mind and standing up for myself. Since the big 3-oh happened I have started to feel more confidant and sure of myself. I am caring less and less what people think and am much more concerned with cultivating quality, meaningful relationships than just making sure everyone likes me. I guess getting older isn't so bad after all.