Thursday, March 16, 2006

A few random thoughts.

I picked up a shift this weekend. I have not been to work in a year. In that year, my ward changed floors, underwent a major change in staff and restructured in layout and routine. I may as well be starting a new job. I am as nervous as I was on the first day of school. I don't even know where the supplies are (or the break room--the most important thing!) Thanks to this, my sleep has been crappy this week--I even had two kids who slept 12 hours (12 hours!) straight last night and I was up at 4:30, eyes wide open, listening to everyone sleeping but me.

We are saying goodbye to my beloved Cadillac. She passed her safety inspection today, so there will be a For Sale sign in the window soon. I am now driving this:

We call it The Dustbuster. Once I forget how luxurious and fun the Caddy was to drive, I am sure it will be great. I already like the fact that twenty bucks bought me half a tank of fuel (that would barely cover the bottom of the Caddy's tank). Surprisingly, it is shorter and narrower than the Caddy so it is a dream to park and fits well in our tiny garage. I have learn to be neater since there is not as much room in the back for cargo, so there is no throwing stuff back there to forget about. For the record, that is not my house and there is certainly no green grass outside my window right now--that pic is from the classified ad to sell it.

I feel a shift in my brain happening. I used to be so very insecure and worried about saying things to make waves. I never wanted anyone mad at me, so I was not good at speaking my mind and standing up for myself. Since the big 3-oh happened I have started to feel more confidant and sure of myself. I am caring less and less what people think and am much more concerned with cultivating quality, meaningful relationships than just making sure everyone likes me. I guess getting older isn't so bad after all.

3 comments:

sugarmama said...

Hey, just wanted to say I hope you had a good day at work! Good luck! Oh, and welcome to the minivan club.

ninepounddictator said...

I actually kind of like mini-vans now...or at least the fact that mini van drivers can see everything...

I would probably drive one...if I felt comfortable parking, which I don't...even in my small(ish) car...Nicks everywhere....pathetic....

Also, yes, you should feel free to speak your mind - especially when something pisses you off....not just to be mean, but if you really feel strongly about something...definitely (especially if you wait 20 minutes after getting angry to see if you're still angry...sometimes it goes away...)

I especially get mad at doctors when they can't fit me in...I don't get mad, but I start to cry...Crying works wonders....

Hey, do you do tarrot cards over the phone?????

Not Jenny said...

Rebecca--I did a reading by email once and it went pretty well (ask the lady who posted above you what she thought) I think by phone would be even better since I could hear the tone and inflections of your voice. Let me know if you want to set something up. I used to read cards on night shifts (at designated break times)and raised more than a few eyebrows with my accuracy.

I don't usually get mad when I can't get in to the doc--since I am a nurse I have an inside view of what they are up against as far as patient loads go. I just decide if what I need can wait, or if I need to go to walk-in. I cry when I think about how long my little guy has been on a waiting list for speech therapy. (over a year and still waiting)