How to mail a package in twelve simple steps.

1. Wake up on the morning of the Domestic Package deadline for your country and curse yourself for the line up that will be waiting for you at the Post Office.

2. Try to find the wrapping paper. Fail. Instead find the stack of hand made Christmas cards you meant to mail. Realize that you may as well address them and send them off since you have to go to the PO anyway.

3. Sign and address cards, stopping several times to remove Baby from various precarious postions. eg: Pantry ,where he is dumping dog food into the flour bin, bathroom --where he is scrubbing toilet with cleaning brush...(.let him finish first), table top -where he is trying to steal your coffee, and then help him down when he can't find his step stool.

4. Go to purse to find stamps.

5. Reach into purse and find that your wallet is suspiciously damp. Search through purse and find a half-empty baby bottle without a cap on it. Discover puddles of milk in the bottom of your purse. Dump out purse and thank The Universe that there were no electronic devices in your purse (this time)

6. Wash out purse and contents. Find lost gift card (yay!)

7. Get juice for preschooler.

8. Rescue baby. (again)

9. Dig out old purse. Don't forget to find wrapping paper while in the basement.

10. Fill old purse.

11. Wrap gift. Stamp cards.

12. Pack up kids to go to the Post Office. Thank The Universe (again) that you made it before the line up was horridly long and the Postal Workers were cranky.

The End