I got a phone call this morning from Emmett's Developmental Pediatrician (did you know there was such a thing???) She called to give me the results of Emmett's MRI. It turns out there is a small cyst on his brain. My mouth went dry. My stomach fell out of my body. Did my heart stop or speed up? I don't know, but there was definitely a jolt. It was a good thing I was sitting down.
She went on to tell me this thing is probably benign and probably harmless. It was a complete fluke that they found this since they weren't even looking for it. She is fairly sure it has nothing to do with his speech and that many people live their whole lives with these cysts and never know it. Of course, she can't bet her life on any of these things so now we have referrals sent off to a pediatric neurologist and a pediatric neurosurgeon. The pediatrician assures me that we will probably just be monitoring this cyst for now and there are no plans to operate on my boy's brain. She also told me that they will not waste any time. We can expect to be back in The Big City in a matter of weeks for these new appointments.
I talked to a friend I have. She had a brain tumor. She knows about these things. She was very reassuring. I am glad I know her. She knows the right questions to ask. She knew the right things to say.
I told Richard about all of this and he is not worried at all. I am in knots. I know I shouldn't worry and that the doc is probably right about how this thing is not hurting Emmett at all. BUT there is a THING in his head that shouldn't be there. I can't stop thinking about it. (It is not at all a funny thought like when Homer Simpson found out he had that crayon in his brain.)
Emmett is fine right now. Nothing has changed. Everything has changed.