Friday, May 19, 2006

Bridget Jones was here.

The nice mailman dropped a box on my doorstep this morning. What was in it? Why a special "slimming" slip to wear under a certain bridesmaid dress as well as a clingly floaty number I bought to wear to another wedding. It looks and feels like a sausage casing, but man, oh man, does it do the trick. I tried it on under the clingy dress and it looks like a whole new outfit. The dress just floats over the industrial-strenghth Spandex and my baby belly is perfectly smoothed out. My waist even nips in a little now. Hubby must never, ever see me in it. It is like the scene in Bridget Jone's Diary where she has to decide if she should look good in the dress by wearing the granny undies or if she should look good out of the dress with the pretty undies.

I am pretty sure I can still get lucky with my man either way. I think seeing me in a glorified girdle is less traumatizing than the time he saw me give birth and then was ordered into the bathroom by the midwife to make sure I didn't topple over in the shower. He had to help dry me off and wipe up the blood that was dripping down my legs and then put the giant pillow-sized pad in my undies and pull them up. Yep, I married a keeper.
Note to those readers who don't have children: sorry, that is the way it is after you give birth. It is not like they show on TV or the movies at all!! Oh, and hubby was not so helpful during the birth of our first--he had to leave during the whole pushing thing because he was going to hit the floor if he didn't. I still give him an "A" for effort--the poor guy is pretty squeamish on a good day.

Sorry for the rambling and tangents--this is what happens when you blog after having half a pot of coffee with breakfast.


ninepounddictator said...

What a lovely picture of you after birth! ha ha...
Your guy does sound like a keeper!

Unknown said...

Oh yeah, you had the Big C--no unpleasantness for the fiance to deal with. Was he there in the operating room with you?
I didn't even have an epidural the second time--but the endorphin rush was incredible!!