Sunday, February 27, 2011

I am slowly going crazy....

What is it about February??  Charlotte and I were doing really well.  She was sleeping better and her moods were stabilizing nicely.  We had a lovely couple of weeks of equilibrium.  Then, February came.  The excitement of an upcoming birthday and the Arts Festival and a bit of a cold threw her into a tizzy.  Tantrums, sleep disturbances, mood swings.  I am feeling the effects of late winter angst as well.  I don't like how I feel in my own skin lately.  Old habits are creeping back in and I am mad at myself for slipping with my workouts and diet.  I am having a hard time running and it used to feel so good.  I am sick of having the same arguments with Charlotte over the same things.  I am tired of cooking the same food every day, washing the same clothes and cleaning up the same messes.  I know I am not the only one to have this feeling at this time of year.

As I type this the kids are downstairs trashing the playroom and screaming and my blood pressure is rising and I am feeling tension in my chest.  If I look to my left I will see a desk littered with paper and markers and books and toys.  One of those markers was recently used on the computer monitor.  I am so frustrated that there doesn't seem to be enough hiding places in the house for things the older kids need that the youngest can use for the purposes of evil.   I want to run away and hide but the windchill is minus 30 so if I go for a run outside I will surely have an asthma attack  

So, I hide.  I play with photos.  I scream at the kids.  I wait for Winter to end and hope the floodwaters don't rise too high. 


Ami said...

Well, me saying 'it gets better' won't help. And I haven't been where you are... I have fewer kids, spaced further apart.. and they're now adults.

But I'm still here if you want someone to listen to you rant and someone who does care... hang in there, you're right, it will pass... winter AND this age and stage thing.


Stacey said...

I completely understand. This month has been very ugly for us, too. We were from home too long, Maddy was sick for 2 weeks, Keith had a lot of long hours...took a much bigger toll than I'd expected.

Needless to say, I'm beyond excited my parents agreed to take Maddy for three days this week.

Misty Snider said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with exactly how I've been feeling lately. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Spring is coming soon-ish, right??? :)

Anonymous said...

February/March are always really hard for me, too.

Put on some disco music and dance.

Cook from 2 new recipes per week.

Eat fruit to remind you of summer.

Buy a new toy for the kids.

Make a blanket fort and read stories in it.

Andria Crowjoy said...

Big hugs, my friend. Goes like this for a while, then it gets worse. As my grandfather, the optimist, used to say. :D

You're awesome, your kids rock, it will be spring sometime, someday, maybe soon! Really!