Do I need a title?

I finally got to talk to MIL today. I thought I was calm and rational--she critiqued my delivery and accused me of attacking her. Grrrrr. At least she knows how I feel--we'll see if she actually listens now. Don't know what I am talking about? Scroll down to "The Honeymoon is Over" I don't feel like typing the story all over again. Time to get on with life.

I broke through my two weeks of gaining with a nice three-pound loss last week. I am now down in the lowest WW points bracket and learning all over again how to eat. Who knew two points could be so important?? I am sticking with it. I have lost 12 pounds so far, so I must be doing something right.

It is Emm's third birthday tomorrow. How time flies. He is so tall and grown-up looking now. I still remember the pudgy little butterball that would greet me every morning with a smile. He now comes down the stairs and helps himself to breakfast. We will take him to the summer fair and eat ice cream cake to celebrate. (must call Dairy Queen and see if they have Dora cakes.....) I will resist the call of the mini doughnut. Really I will!! His cough is almost gone and he has his spunk back, so I know we will have fun on his big day. How many kids get a fair on their birthday???

Progress.

Therapy went well today. Emm is getting to know the therapist and her routine better so the session went pretty smoothly. She was impressed with Emm's new ability to keep his mouth closed for longer periods. We worked on that at home by practicing making lipstick prints on paper. We have to work on eye contact and improved communication this week--a much more challenging task. We have to work on not "telling" Emm things and letting him fill in blanks more. We have some songs to sing and games to play to work on that. We have to teach him some new signs too. Lots of work to do.

I fell off the Weight Watcher's wagon pretty hard and landed at McDonald's this weekend. Not my finest moment. I am not looking forward to weigh-in tomorrow, but I will face the music and look that scale in the eye. I am trying to be more honest with my food journal as well--no creative accounting of points allowed! I just gave away a bunch of my bigger clothes--I need to shape up because I can't go up. I also need to figure out how to stop snacking while I am cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. Hubby won't buy my story that he needs to do the dishes to help my weight loss efforts. I posted a favourite low-point muffin recipe on my food blog so we can all eat better together.

I have started my first lace knitting project -- a leafy scarf. I have to do a lot of tinking (ripping back for you non-knitters) so by the time I have finished it I probably will have knit it a few times, but it is so pretty I must perservere. I am doing it in a lovely hand-dyed amethyst-coloured merino wool.

The Honeymoon is Over.

Well, 10 pounds down, another 12 to go. Weight Watchers is great, except when you are having a bad week and are eating chocolate chips by the handful to medicate. I have had such a hard time controlling my eating this week and am in a downward spiral. I have PMS, I am mad at my mother in law and my wrists hurt too much to knit since I have started cycling. Bring on the junkfood! My weight was up at my last meeting, I am sure it will be up at this one too. I just cannot keep away from the junk this week. The thought of counting points today is almost too much.

The wrists will be getting better--my new splints are on order and hopefully they will help. I am also going to buy some gloves for cycling. I started swatching a summery cotton-silk blend for a pretty sweater for me and it is killing me that I cannot work on it. (Blogger is not letting me use apostrophes today) Knitting also keeps me from snacking in the evening. Double whammy.

Why am I mad at my mother in law (this time)? Could it be that when she babysat she let my son play with a spray bottle of coloured liquid that she did not know the ingredients of? Thankfully I knew that the bottle contained food colouring and water because I gave it to Emm to spray paint the snow with over the winter. Why did she still have it? Who knows? He and his sister were dyed blue when I picked them up. I am not against kids getting dirty--dirt washes off. You do not let children play with unlabled bottles. It could have been fertilizer in there! MIL is also taking it upon herself to potty train my boy. Behind my back. Without my permission. I really need to call my church and get the names of some nice kids in the youth group who can baby sit. I am angry enough now that it is a good thing MIL is going away for a week so I can cool off. At this moment I am not sure I can allow unsupervised visits anymore.--Oh yeah, she knows I am on Weight Watchers, so to show her support she offered me the Big Mac coupons she got in the mail. Thanks a lot. You really know how to help a girl out.
Where are the chocolate chips?

Spring Forward.

To some of you, Spring Forward just means you have to remember to turn your clock one hour ahead or you will be the laughingstock at work on Monday morning. I have decided to take this term literally. It is time for a transformation. I want my outside to match my inside. I want to look at an outfit in a shop and think "Wow. That will look so good on me!" Instead of scrutinizing it for tummy-hiding abilities and reaching to the back of the rack to see if they carry it in a not-quite-plus-size-but-give-me-time size. I will be in someone's wedding pictures this summer--I do not want to be self-conscious in front of all of the cameras. I want to hold my head high and be proud of how I look.

I have joined Weight Watchers and now write down every morsel I put in my mouth and do math to see what I can have for a snack every day. How humbling to know , in black and white, how much one really eats. I have done this before, so I have vague knowledge about how to maximize my points, but I still have a lot to learn. I always feel a little hungry at this point, but I am waiting for my stomach to shrink and am guzzling down on lots of water (Crystal Light or lemon wedge optional) and filling my plate with lots and lots of steamed veggies at dinner every night. I have always liked vinegar on my veggies instead of butter, so I have a bit of a head start already. Why Weight Watchers when I know South Beach or Atkins gives almost instant results? One: My name is Not Jenny and I am a carb addict. I do not have time to chase small kiddies while detoxing from carbs. Two: I refuse to cook two dinners every night and hubby would shrivel up and disappear if I took away the carbs. Three: I don't need instant results I need lasting results. Weight Watchers is something I can follow for life without dieting myself into a kidney transplant later on.


My big challenge is making time and motivating myself to exercise. Thankfully the sidewalks are getting clearer and clearer and the sun is shining more and more, so the stroller will be racking up the miles once again. I have workout tapes gathering dust on the back of the shelf that I will be brushing off and using on not-nice days. I just have to make myself. I am a lazy person and I have exercise-induced asthma. I really have to kick myself in the butt to get off the couch and turn off the computer. The asthma is an easy excuse to stay put, but if I pace myself correctly and watch the weather I hardly have to use my inhaler at all. We even have recordings of a kid's exercise program by the BBC for Emmett--we could dance together. We will dance together.

I haven't picked a goal weight yet--do I pick what I really want to be, or what I think I can attain? (that is a three pound difference in my mind--those last three pounds can be a kicker) I have two more days to think about it--that is when I weigh in again.

Until then my first goal is 10 pounds--there will be no shopping for clothes until I lose 10 pounds. This is proving to be hard since all of the spring/summer clothing is coming out in stores, but what better incentive to count my points than being able to buy what I really want instead of what makes me look the least pregnant???